Isaiah 40:31

31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

 

– I still remember how angelic my moms voice was when she would sing this verse. I wish I could hear her sing this one more time. 

If I Died

If I died today,
Would you act like you even cared?
If I died today,
Would it be too much for you to bare?

If I died tomorrow,
Would you even shed a single tear?
If I died tomorrow,
Would you wish me to be somewhere near?

If I died today,
Would you pretend to care about me more?
If I died today,
Wouldn’t things look more trivial than they did before?

If I died tomorrow,
Would you still not have a single care?
If I died tomorrow,
Would you miss me being there?

If I died today,
There’s one thing that I should keep honest.
That if I died tomorrow,
You won’t be in control anymore I promise!

When You Put Your Hands On Me

When you put your hands on me,

Do you feel like you’re in control?

When you put your hands on me,

How do you feel within your soul?

 

When you put your hands on me,

How does it make you feel?

When you put your hands on me,

Does your broken mind start to heal?

 

When you put your hands on me,

Do you see the pain within my eyes?

When you put your hands on me,

Do you see our desperation subside?

 

When you put your hands on me,

Can’t you see that I’m giving up?

When you put your hands on me,

I know you see that I’m giving up.

Night and Dawn

When death is theme of thought or poet’s song.
It has its symbol in the “close of day,”
“The twilight hour of life when shadows throng
From out the past,””the evening still and grey.”
We think of night and of the great unknown,
Dim gulfs where vanished those we loved of earth;
And grieving hearts grow sadder,, left alone,
And some are shut through years from peace and mirth.

But as I watch the pageant of the years,
And mark the changes that the seasons bring.
Learn that to each come certain pain and tears.
Some hope or longing crushed to which they cling,
Then earthly days seem dusk with light withdrawn,
And death not night, but morning’s golden dawn.

NIGHT A
WRITTEN BY: Arthur Wallace Peach

Blood IS NOT Thicker Than Water

I’m not sure what airhead came up with this saying, but he or she obviously has never had the pleasure to experience how my family treats one another! You can be the most self-devoted family member imaginable, and still in the end, you will end up screwed! My experience goes to show that if you are someone in my family with nothing going “wrong” in your life, then you haven’t truly had to stand the pressures of what life holds, than you haven’t had to test how “thick” blood-relations actually are against most of the trials life has to bring.

It seems that whenever something gets hard for any of my family members, the first thing they do is lash out and put blame on the family that they are supposed to love. I am not a naive individual. I always knew the potential for this kind of behavior among my family existed. I just honestly didn’t think that “family” would ever actually treat other family members this way. It is not only heartbreaking but frustrating to see. You go out on a limb for said family members and they do nothing but break your heart at the end of the day.

I recently lost my mother. I have had to watch family fall apart, one by one. It seems that things just seem to be getting worse and worse for everyone left in my family. Those family members that were supposed to be there for each other, are physically in the same zip code, but miles and miles apart emotionally and mentally. I’m just wondering how in the hell did I end up with the shitty end of the deal (excuse my language).

The only thing that I have left to add is the fact that I have a few good friends who have showed me that some friends make are better family than blood-related family will ever be! I don’t necessarily need blood relatives in my life to make it a life worth living. The friends that God sent me are all the family I need right now. Maybe one day, my real family will get their heads out of their asses long enough to come together with me and make things right, but until than, I am going to proceed on with my life with the people I have in my life who actually appreciate my existence.

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